Tuesday, March 29, 2005

looking through old posts, this one stuck out

Sunday, May 18, 2003

i'd like to think that i'm musically inclined, so tell me why sometimes i catch myself listening to silence....that or one of the roomate's guests snoring

now playing: "asleep"-the smiths

i don't really keep in touch with my friends back home on a regular basis. in a way, it's because i feel as if i'm in two separate worlds. sacramento and santa cruz. i don't really keep in touch with the sacto heads that much. it's as if i'm under the impression that when i go back, nothing will have changed. but reading people's blogs (no really) i've figured out that people have changed much the same way how i have over the past year. and change isn't always a bad thing. change is a sign of growth and progress.

"sing me to sleep. i don't want to wake up on my own anymore..."

but with this change comes this feeling of disjointedness from the people i call/ed family. i don't know why i feel the need to separate my life from here and there. i guess sometimes my head is focused on the present too much. it's like in psychology, one of the characteristics of creativity is to live the moment and live as if the past and future are nonexistent. so i read these people's blogs, and just reflect on how things were when i was kickin it with them. and then sometimes with blogger reading, you'll click on the links of their friends, and you'll start reading pages of people you haven't talked to in hella long.

"sing me to sleep. and then leave me alone..."

you see how much their lives have changed since the last time you really connected with them. you get to see who they're hooking up with, what their future plans are...you really get to see the issues concerning them without really having a conversation with them. but why? why do i have to read about their lives when it's so easy and more beneficial just to call them? or talk to them? i guess i just like keeping things separated. but wow, people's lives just blow me away. especially those of people you haven't talked to in awhile "wow, yr going to do what? i remember when you were like..."

"don't try to wake me in the morning, cause i will be gone..."

so i think about my santa cruz friends, and when i finally leave this place, whenever it may be, will the same thing happen to them? we'll have moved on and i'll just be left reading their blogs. haha. but it's kinda sad to think that a lot of these people i talk to and meet, not just in santa cruz, will just become "people i used to know". people we'd talk about when hanging with old friends. the same way people talk about dead people, they'll talk about "people they used to know". cause i guess, in away they're dead to them.

"don't feel bad for me, i want you to know...

i like instant messenger. it's the ability to have conversations with multiple people at once. it's posesses this post-it like quality. it's quick, easy and fun to use. it's also impersonal and addicting. sucks. but cool.


5:13 AM

2:06 AM
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