radio...shaq
Sometimes I think media outlets use hella moded pictures of celebrities on purpose. Check out this one for Shaq. It was on the front page of Yahoo's NBA page.
He kinda looks like Shrek in that one.
Haha. Donald Rumsfeld throwing up a gang sign.
So Posh Spice and Mr. Posh Spice have a kid....
I can't ice skate for shit...
but I like watching people ice skate. I went to downtown plaza today just to walk around. I stopped by the ice skating rink set up across from the Hard Rock. I think it's funny how people look hella cool while they're ice skating, but hella stupid once they leave the rink. I don't think there's any cool way to walk in those things. Even the prettiest people can't do it. Everyone looks hella clumsy, like hella toddler status.
Interesting thing of the day.
I saw some guy trying to hustle his cd's on Arden Way (one of the busiest streets in Sacto). I mean really, if you see some big dude coming yr way while yr stopped at stoplight, are you really gonna roll down yr window?
Driving home music of the night
"i better be quiet now" - elliot smith
wish you gave me a number
wish i could call you today,
just to hear a voice.
i got a long way to go
getting further away.
if i didn't know the difference,
living alone would probably be ok.
it wouldn't be lonely.
i got a long way to go
getting further away.
a lot of hours to occupy it was easy
when i didn't know you yet,
things i'd have to forget.
but i better be quiet now,
i'm tired of wasting my breath
carrying on, getting upset.
maybe i have a problem,
but thats not what i wanted to say.
i prefer to say nothing.
i got a long way to go
getting further away.
had a dream as an army man with an order
just to march in my place
but a dead enemy
screams in my face
but i better be quiet now,
i'm tired of wasting my breath
carrying on, not over it yet.
wish i knew what you were doing.
why you want to do it this way.
so i can't go the distance,
i got a long way to go,
i'm getting further away.
i got a long way to go
getting further away.
They sell everything at Costco
I think the think that amazes me about costco is that people would endure crazy ass holiday lines and utter chaos just to get a wholesale price on a deli tray. I was there today and I saw a guy holding a deli platter waiting to get his receipt marked off while standing behind a woman who had enough supplies to survive a nuclear holocaust for 3.4 years.
I never liked the whole receipt marking process. If you've shopped there enough times, you'll notice that there are two types of costco receipt checkers.
Exhibit A: The "I have to inspect everything in yr cart because you might be hiding a TV underneath that bag of grapes" newbie. These cats look through everything just to make sure that there's nothing in the cart that's not on your receipt. But you know, they're just doing their job according to what it's description in the employee handbook. Just explain that to that line of 25 other customers waiting for a highliter mark on their receipt.
Exhibit B: The "I don't give a fuck cause I don't give a fuck" veteran. These folks don't even care that yr walking out with a TV even though the receipt says "deli tray". I think if I worked at costco I'd be one of these guys. Then I'd get fired the next day.
You know...costco really does sell everything. Don't believe me? Click here.
So that's how those hip hop guys get all the girls
I was doing laundry today, and I found myself asking "When do you put in the fabric softener?". Damnit, I should pay more attention to commercials.
Speaking of commercials...
I saw this Southwest Airlines "Wanna get away?" commercial last night. Straight comedy. This postal worker delivers a package to this couple that's gardening out front. The couple has a basketball hoop in their driveway. So the postal worker picks up a ball and tries to make a jumper. He airballs horribly and the ball ends up shattering one of the garage windows. The camera then cuts to the gardening couple giving him a disapproving look. Then cuts to him looking hella sheepish like his mom just walked in on him mastering his own domain. HILARIOUS!
Because Friendster is sooooooooooo 2003
I was myspacing out today and I saw a picture of you kissing yr boyfriend.
I wanted to barf. No really. Barf.
back in the sacto
I was in a waiting room this afternoon reading The Broke Diaries by Angela Nissel (the founder of www.okayplayer.com) when this toddler comes up to me with cookie shit all over her face. I'm not using the word "shit" to try and sound hard (and shit), but this girl really did have cookie shit on her face. She was eating a cookie, and when it would get hella chewed up (and shit), she'd kinda let it roll down her chin. Looked like she had a bad case of diarrhea of the mouth (and shit...okay i'll stop). She comes up to me all smiling, hella cute status, waving her cookie as if it's the nation flag of Cookieshitsconia.
Cookie shit: HI! *smiling*
Me: *looking up from book with an awkward "yr a cute little kid, but what the hell is on yr face?" smile* Uh...Hi!
She doesn't even wait for my "hi", rather she goes off to go hit on some older toddler with his shirt tucked in.
I hated having to tuck in my shirt as a kid. But my parents loved it.
Anyway, she wanders too far from Mommy, so of course mom gets concerned.
Mom: DESTINY! COME HERE!
Meanwhile, Destiny is still flirting with tucked in shirt boy. Tucked in shirt boy is hella playing it cool too. He's kinda the quiet, mysterious type. He just gives her that sly, charismatic smile and she's just eating it up (as well as eating her cookie up at the same time).
At this point, mom's getting irritated.
Mom: DESTINY ROSE! COME HERE!
Destiny Rose?!?!
Sorry mom, but your daughter's name sounds like she's some kinda porn star or something. I mean, Destiny is a pretty name. Rose is a pretty name. But Destiny Rose is a pretty pornstarish sounding name.
She's still a cute little kid who can't eat cookies and likes to flirt with boys though.
speaking of porn stars, yr first pet's name + the first street you lived on = porn star name
Whenever I played the porn star name game, my name was Shadow Dotmar.
gotta love engaging yr education
j0ellene: anatomy was so funny this semester
j0ellene: i cracked so many jokes
j0ellene: and learned how to be PC, for example..this week is the sloughing of my endometrial lining
Sugar in my green tea
I'm hella tired. Finals can go lick monkey nipple erections.
ouch.
strange how the slightest touch can make you wince.
heh
So right now i'm doing my usual routine in the ITS (a) computer lab (stupid). You know the whole e-mail/myspace/aim/facebook/blog thing, and there's this girl sitting on the floor a couple computers down. I'm used to people doing out of the ordinary things, but this just seems hella weird to me. When I was at SC I was desensitized to this kinda shit, but I guess it's wearing off.
So homegirl is sitting on the floor, crosslegged, writing some shit down on her clipboard. And it's not like she's posted up against the wall or anything, she's chilling in the middle of the walkway right in front of the printers. There's hella empty chairs around her and she chooses to sit down next to a half eaten ritz cracker. Weird.
Saucy
Strolling in the park
watching winter turn to spring.
Walking in the dark,
watching lovers do their thing.
That's the time, I feel like making love...to you.
Go buy Voodoo now! Well worth $18, or whatever it is. Either that or pop it into yr cd player.
UPDATE!
The girl who was on the floor is now sitting in a chair. Maybe the half eaten ritz cracker forced her to be civilized.
Love jones
I was talking to my homegirl tonight, and she was telling me about these different relationships here at USF and the ones she's been in. It only reaffirmed the fact that I need to be careful at this school. It's such a small ass school that people are always up in everyone else's shit. You dunno who went out with who, who's not cool with who, who used to be best friends that turned into lovers that turned into don't talk anymore status with who. A lot of it is bullshit to me. But whatever. Just gotta be careful. I would hate to have my shit out there like that.
7:26 on a friday night and i'm chillin in the its (a) computer lab (stupid)
it's times like this where i hella miss being at sc or back at home. i don't wanna do much of anything right now. at home or at sc there's always somewhere where i can go to do absolutely nothing. i just wanna slide off the couch playing video games or some shit. here at sf i haven't really established a place where i can just chill with the folks. there is no lilio 26/36 here. i can't go to judzon's to cut my nails. i can just sit here in the computer lab and blog.
success
i waited 2 hours at st. mary's hospital today for a 5 minutes of lab work. no really. i think the highlight of the whole event for me was the actual lab room. it was a small ass room the size of an airplane bathroom with an inspirational office/buisness poster on the wall. the poster was a picture of a golf course and read, "success. it doesn't not come to us, but rather, we go to it."
does the nurse really need that kind of motivation to draw my blood?
"Darn That Dream"-Kenny Hagood/Miles Davis
Darn that dream
I dream each night
You say you love me and hold me tight
But when I awake and you’re out of sight
Oh darn that dream
Darn your lips and darn your eyes
They lift me high above the moonlit sky
Then I tumble out of paradise
Oh darn that dream
Darn that one track mind of mine
It can’t understand that you don’t care
Just to change the mood I’m in
I’d welcome a nice old nightmare
Darn that dream
And bless it too
Without that dream I never have you
But it haunts me and it won’t come true
Oh darn that dream
Point mongers
I just finished my anatomy practical. My TA stayed behind to grade the exams on the spot, so I chilled and waited for him to grade mine. The first person to get her exam graded got a 95. Now, any normal person would be happy with that grade. But no, she had to go on and argue some bullshit answer so she could get one more fucking point.
"What'd you get?"-Person A asks
"OH I GOT A 95. SOON TO BE A 97!"- she says hella loud with a wink.
WHAT THE FUCK IS YR PROBLEM!?! CAN'T YOU JUST SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT THE HELL UP?
Now I have no problem with people arguing for points. If the grader misses something, that's fine, point it out. But there's no need to take up other people's precious time to argue for yr shit. There's ways to be more low key about it. How about...
E-mailing the teacher with the discrepancy.
Waiting till all the other exams are graded.
And the thing that gets me, is that these people are the same people that hella judge you because they got a higher score than you. These people are the ones who look at you like yr a dumbass because they value meaningless numbers that don't represent actual knowledge, but rather just how well you can memorize information and regurgitate it on an exam. It doesn't help that this class is graded on a bell curve, so everyone has this stupid as fuck out for self mentality. For example...
"Hey can you help me out with what's gonna be on the exam?"-Person A
"HELL NO! YR GONNA FUCK UP MY GRADE!"- Person B
That's one thing that really bugs about this school. A lot of folks here are just out for self. Because it's especially bad with freshman, it doesn't help at all that I'm in a lot of freshman classes. So I'm surrounded by these people ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Maybe it wouldn't bother me as much if they didn't peek at my scores and let out a haughty smirk, resulting in a condescending tone in future encounters. Fuckers.
I just gotta get through finals.
bacon! bacon! bacon!
I had dinner tonight with the lovely miss Rachel aka "Just yr average girl in pumas" (which is a lie cause she was rockin tsinelas). We went to the caf to go grab some eats. I played it safe and picked up a cheeseburger, but Rachel, being the adventurous girl that she is, opted for the baked potato. Now anywhere else, a baked potato wouldn't be that bad. But this is the University of San Francisco. She got her potato piled with some cheese, sour cream, chives, and a big ass piece of bacon turd. Chillin on top of her baked potato was this nasty, crusty ass clump of bacon bits that resembled the shit I took this morning.
Nothing says good eats like feces.
Too bad we didn't name it. I would've named it Lester. It looked like a Lester.
Speaking of shit...
I hella get a kick out of the models we use in anatomy lab. There's a liver that looks like a dog chew toy. If you squeeze it, air comes out and it makes a whistling noise. It's got me questioning my own liver. Then there's another model of this woman. It's a model of a woman with her legs and arms off, so it's pretty much the upper cavity and its contents. You could take out all her body parts to exmine them. You can remove her chest to take a look at the heart. When you go lower you could take out her liver, stomach, and her large+small intestines. Scale even lower and you can even take out her anal canal and her testes.
Wait...testes?!!
This model has feminine facial features, big child bearing hips, some junk in the trunk, boobs, and a pair of berries chilling in between her legs.
But the thing I get a kick out of the most, is the amount of detail put into the model. If you open up the intestines, you can see that the model designers took great pride in accuracy and authenticity. They filled up "her" intestines with shit.
Wow.
Last night at the Gil One-Axe show, the improv team performed. One of the games is called "Genres", which requires two people to act out a scene in specific genres that the audience members call out. Laura and I were playing "Genres" last night, and we were supposed to be inmates in a prison. Things started off cool. We went from musical to documentary to melodrama. It's just that things started getting a little weird when one of the audience wanted us to do the scene in the style of a
Spongebob Porn.
No, really.
"Well yr awfully soft Spongebob!"
"Thank you Patrick. It's the ocean that keeps me absorbent and squishy."
"Well at least yr absorbent and shquishy where it counts."
i think i'm getting old
i had to water down my fruit punch.
i just came back from the caf to go grab a tasty cup of hi-c and that shit was way too sweet for me. i put some ice tea to try and neutralize the sweetness yet maintain the flavor, but shit still wasn't fly. so i had to use good old h2o. yeah, it killed off some of that "fruit" flavor, but at least it didn't taste like gulps of sugar anymore.
i go up to pay for my drink, and a long ass line backs up. aparently something was wrong with the one card scanner. so they open up a new line. i figured i was better off staying in line #1. so i wait, and wait...and the guy at the register tells everyone to move to line #3. so we all diligently walk on over as they get the machine at line#3 running. i'm second in line. the guy in front of me is buying enough bottles of iced tea to survive a nuclear holocaust. he hands the registergirl his card and starts cramming the iced tea into his backpack. as he sticks the last bottle into his bag, the register jams.
usually i'm a pretty patient guy. but at that point, i had been in line for 15 minutes already. okay maybe not 15, but it sure as hell felt like it. so i do what any other badass nursing bboy would do.
i walked.
gangsta!
sigh
so i'm writing this in the computer lab right now. and i always like looking around at people doing their work. just right now this jd/janet jackson walked in. it's so sad....on my (and every other guy's) part at least. for him (jd), life is great. i actually always see this couple at my building. they live there i think, well at least the girl (janetjackson) does. they're always in the plaza with their pda's. and no...i'm not talking about palm pilots. i'm talking about a steroid filled barry bonds running around 2nd base on the way to third. my god, she's awful cute.
like a butterfly and shit
i don't think i'm cultured enough to appreciate interprative dance.
yes, it's hella difficult, and there's a lot of work that goes into it...but ferreal...
that shit makes me laugh.
i had to stuff my mouth with salad to stifle my laughter as i watched this guy and girl contort their bodies in various positions that would make nymphos wet. spinning around in circles with grace portraying the horrors of war and the beauty of love.
i guess...
maybe i just need to see it done well, or something.
i hate amoeba records
i'm listening obscure music to make me look cooler than i really am.
"reggae dancehall classics" - dj apollo... i paid 9.99 for a burned cd. i love it. this has some good shit on here. classics like sister nancy's "bam bam" and musical youth's "pass the dutchie. it ends with barrington levy's "murderer". dope mix. it even has a dancehall version of "real love". well worth the 9.99 . funny thing is, i actually burned a copy of the cd from my friend justin back at ucsc, but i lost the cd. hah.
"talkin' verve"- willie bobo....haven't really gotten into this cd yet. mostly cause i've just been listening that apollo shit all day. but this is some good latin music. it has the original version of "evil ways" on it.
yesterday in microbiology...
i sang a "hey ya" parody about gonorrhea. no really.
HEY ME TOO!
i love love peaking my head up here in the computer lab and seeing other people on aim or myspace or facebook and all that jazz. ah...the simple pleasures in life. speaking of simple pleasures, i get to make out with mannequin tonight. er...provide the mannequin with cardiopulmunary resuscitation. cpr training like what. hopefully the mannequin doesn't pull a sandlot on me.