*pound* *clap* *pound* *whish whish* *clap*
3:37 insomnia post from jay+paul's room.
talking to: paula, eric, sean, joel.
my feet feel warm.
people keep going idle, then coming back. jack.
so i learned a new way to punk someone today. what you do is stick pieces of bologna on their car, in various designs and
patterns. then when they pick off the bologna in the morning, they'll be picking off the paint as well.
i'm always thirsty all the time. i read somewhere that you should never be feeling thirsty. if you do, then yr dehydrated.
i wonder what the half nekkid girls on myspace are really like when they're away from all the fake-up and import cars.
3:44 insomnia post.
i got a crush on you.
"who me?"
yes you.
"couldn't be."
then who?
you gorgeous asshole
3:46 insomnia post. end transmission.
to my friend: thank you
and she smiled at me
but not because i used a corny pickup line used for the hundreth time smiling simply
to show pity for a line that failed miserably like
"girl...if you were words a page, you'd be what they call...fine print"
but i'm telling you, she smiled at me
but not because she caught me with a booger hanging out my nose that i tried to pick
with the quickness when her head was turned as my ears burned crimson from having
been caught in an embarassing position saying and saying something to play it off like
"oh i was just scratching...."
but ferreal, she smiled at me
but not because i'm the man of her dreams present in her reality that just
confessed his undying love for her with some words regurgitated from a romantic comedy with lines like
"you had me hello"
she smiled at me
just for a brief second
because she longed to share herself
with another human being
just for a brief second
to let me know that she's alive
and the beauty divine that exists within her skin
calls out for me to experience her
just for a brief second
to connect two uncommon dots
to create soul music fiery hot
the beat stops...
when that amazing, incredible, beautiful second is over.
thanks dizz, tell me where this is from and you get a prize
What?!
You found Manuel Noreaga?!
In the Philippines?!
He has a mansion?!
Okay we're on it right now.
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT!
i had visitors tonight!
christine and meesh came over to study for female phys. cool!
get involved
i was reading ill-literacy's zine, phlegm, and remembered when i hella wanted to put one out for me and my friends. i always thought i never i had time. but it's not that i don't have enough time, it's just that i don't have enough drive. like vroooom.
taken from paula's profile
killertilapia: there's two kinda girls that hella intimidate me
1. b-girls/girls in dance crews
2. girls that drive stick
can i get a roll call? just leave a comment saying "boobs"
womyn of color open mic
tonight was a reminder that i'm very fortunate to be able to be here at uc santa cruz. thank you.
internet pop-ups
blink blink blink susana sings her poetry about love de los amores i hear what she's saying but i really don't as i try to comprehend and somehow feel the warmth of her voice caressing my eardrums as her pain feeds me through another day she cries because she isn't pretty and fisherman fish for the other fish in the sea when they don't see her because she is too beautiful for them but beauty is only skind deep and beauty is in the eye of the beholder and beauty is a cliche i thought you were beautiful guess i was right cause yr just another cliche
"De los Amores (about love)"- Susana Baca
Como madrugadas
bebo despertares
me calmo con malicias tuyas
no creo en los metales.
De los amores no entiendo
y del dolor fui el primero
pescador, no soy bella
como duele el esmero
como duele.
Canto vanidades
río con tu ángel
lloro en el lugar de siempre
me impregno de tus sales.
De los amores no entiendo
y del dolor fui el primero
pescador, no soy bella
como duele el esmero
como duele.
******
English:
Like dawn,
I drink awakenings.
Your mischievous ways
calm my soul
I don't believe in the material
I don't understand about love
And of pain I was the first
Fisherman, I'm not pretty
How love hurts
Oh, how it hurts.
I sing vanities
As your angelic ways humor me
I cry in the usual place
I fill myself with your sweat
I don't understand about love
And of pain I was the first
Fisherman, I'm not pretty
How love hurts
Oh, how it hurts.
maybe i shouldn't be so honest in my blogs.
spoken word
the homie adriel performed last night here in santa cruz for an event and just ripped it. a lot of folks hella enjoyed his set. hearing folks say, "wow...i've never really heard spoken word before!" and leaving feeling inspired was incredible. to be honest i wasn't sure how folks would respond to poetry since it's not a big thing within the fsa scene, but folks were hella digging it. it's a beautiful thing.
you gorgeous asshole
i think i'm going through one of those phases were i'm all blah and shit again. i don't know what it is, but things just aren't cliquing...er...clicking for me right now. school is just passing me by, girl(s) keeps passing me by, life keeps passing me by. whatever. my
and you didn't even say bye
let's quote people's away messages....
he's found this awesome person and everything about that person is so amazing...that he has to find some reason to believe something has to be wrong...so he looks for "warning signs"...and by the time he believed the warning signs...he realizes he's passed up that island to discover...and she's gone...deep huh?! coldplay like what!
finding hidden messages within the smoke that comes from my lungs.. learning the language of yourself is the hardest thing sometimes..
The best things in life are free
But you can give them to the birds and bees
I want some money!
and is it emo for me to say that i find all these messages to hold some sort of truth?
i originally posted this on 7.12.02, but i felt like resetting it.
"this type love" - def poetry jam
i want a love like
me thinking of you thinking of me thinking of you type love
or me telling my friends more than i've ever admitted
to myself about how i feel about you type love
or hating how jealous you are
but loving how much you want me all to yourself type love
or seeing how your first name sounds
so good next to my last name
shit, i wanted to see how far i could get without calling you
and i barely made it outta my garage
i want a love that makes me wait till she falls asleep
then wonder if she's dreaming of us being in love type love
or who loves the other more
or what she's doing at this exact moment
or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts
closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good
could hurt so much when she's not there and
shit i love not knowing where this love is headed type love
and check this
i wanna place those little post it notes all around the house
so she never forgets how much i love her type love
and not have enough ink in my pen to write all the ifs about love type love
and hope i make her feel as good as she makes me feel
and i want to deal with my friends making fun of me
the way i made fun of them when they went through the same kinda love type love
the only difference is
this is one of those real love type loves
and just like in high school
i wanna spend hours on the phone not saying shit
and then fall asleep and then wake up with her, right next to me
and smell her all up in my covers type love
i wanna try counting the ways i love her
then lose count in the middle just so i have to start over again
and i wanna celebrate one of those one month anniversaries
even though they ain't really anniversaries
but doin it just cause it makes her happy type love
check this,
i wanna fall in love with the melody the phone plays
when her numbers are dialed into it type love
then talk to you till i lose my breath
she leaves me breathless
but with expanding of my lungs
i inhale all of her back into me
i want a love that makes me need to change
my cell phone calling plan
to something that allows me to talk to her longer
cause in all honesty
i want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves
and i want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are
i mean the lines in my palms don't give me enough time
to love you as long as i'd like to type love
and i want a love that makes me st-st-stutter
just thinking about how strong this love type love is
and i want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair
well maybe not all my hair
maybe i'd cut my split ends and trim my moustache
but it would still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her
i kinda feel comfortable now
so i even be fantasizing about
walking under a green light
just dying to get hit by a car
just so i could lose my memory
get transported to some third world country
just to get treated
and somehow meet up again with you
so i could fall in love with you in a different language
and see if it still feels the same type love
i want a love that's as unexplainable as she is
but i'm married
so she's gonna be the one i share this love with
i guess i'll just have to see for myself when i get there. it's just that reading that site, it seemed like i would have been better off at a different college, such as merrill or oakes. oh well, at least i got apartments. co-ed apartments.
1. Go into your journal's archives.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
holla at a sammy
georgia was okay.. gramma's sick now.. she's really sick.. she cant get out of bed.. she only got sick after we all left.. i hope she gets better.. she my favoritest grandma in the world.. if she died.. i'd be really sad.. id be depressed.. for practically all my life, grandma has been there.. i remember the afternoons we'd come home from school.. and yell across the house, "Good afternOOn grandma!!" and we'd run and give her a hug.. i remember her smell of vix.. the fumes of that when she'd rub it on her chest before we went to bed.. she' was really strong.. she worked in the garden.. she'd walk out of the neighborhood and buy plants and carried them home.. which was like a mile's walk round trip! i must say.. she's my closest grandparent.. my dad's parents are in the philippines and i've probably seen them maybe 5 times of my life.. i cant talked to them.. they cant remember things.. they dont care as my gramma cares.. and lolo, none of the cousins met him.. unless alan did.. i dont know.. he died from a heart attack.. hearing all the stories from my mother always gave me an urge to wish i've been able to share memories with him..
my mom lived with a good family.. they were a bit poor, but that didnt really bother them.. it sounded fun.. i've never heard any of the bad times.. her family of 7 children got along very well.. they weren't spoiled.. and they were raised right.. my family of just me and my brother, i must say.. we're spoiled.. and we don't get along.. sometimes we do...
oh my.. im in tears from writing this.. i feel very emotional about this subject.. and its deeper than what you're reading.. its hard to explain.. and my fingers can't work the magic into what im feeling.. i cant sense the very memories of my early childhood with my gramma.. it was ever so delightful.. nkow that we're older.. i appreciate this stuff so dearly.. i wish i was back there..
sammy never fails to amaze me. so eleoquent. hot damn she's only 13?!
let me get a little emo real quick
*sniff*
okay.
the radio plays our favorite song, it's what keeps me holding on, baby do you miss me now that i'm gone
HAHAHA. man...jocelyn enriquez.
man, i remember i used to jock her back in junior high. her music too. ksfm would have club 102 on friday and saturday nights, and me and the cousin judzon would turn on the blacklights and hella rock out to her shit. whatever happened to jossette?
you are the voolest. good times.
thanks magic marker
word.
there's two things that i really CAN'T stand
1. fake-ass half hugs- now what the fuck is that shit all about. i don't know what that one arm hug shit is all about. you know, where folks kinda turn to the side like yr contagious or something. how much more fake can you get? i mean really, if yr gonna hug someone, at least hug em like it's the last time you'll ever seethem. cause you never know.
2. folks multitasking while on the phone with you- now tell me it's not annoying when yr talking to someone on the phone, perhaps someone yr interested in, and you can hear them typing on the computer, watching tv, doing homework, ionno...whatever else folks do while talking on the phone OTHER THAN TALK ON THE PHONE! i mean, really now, is it really that hard to carry a conversation these days without buddy lists and blinking windows? i really do wanna talk to you, that's the reason i called in the first place. the least you is engage yrself in something that remotely resembles a dialogue. i understand if you've got shit to do, just let me know.
i'm through with being cool
holla at a sammy
auntie mariam, the mom of my favorite cuzzin, (jon) is here.. yeah.. its been cool.. the first day she got here, she was talkin to my mom till 5 in the morning!
Me: Jon's the coolest cousin
Matt: No he's not, Alan is
Me: No, Jon is
Matt: Alan
Me: Why?
Matt: 'cause he's a dj
Me: well i like Jon the best
Matt: Why?
Me: 'cause he's cool
Matt: Well the order of coolness goes like this, Alan, Jon, Ryman, then Dodgie..
Me: well i still think he's the coolest..