night number 2 of pcc was dope as well. i think it was even better than the first night. i was feeling the crowd and energy more on the 2nd night. thanks to everyone involved! homer and daniel came down from davis to watch our production. it was dope shit. afterwards we hit up the afterparty at 301 king. i got my jam on with rondallia (the traditional dance band that we hired). it was really really good times.
cats from the asf retreat came up for night #1. i don't think i blogged about asf in here, but i really enjoyed that weekend. it reminded me a lot of the old pyc retreats in davis.
taken from an e-mail i was sending to aileen.
yo yo...
okay i'ma write you a real e-mail later, but i just read yr email and i gotta get some shit straight.
JASON KIDD IS THE BEST POINT GUARD IN THE LEAGUE HANDS DOWN!
sure his jumper may be a little inconsistent, but he has the best court vision in the L.
stephon starbury OWNS t-park.
i hope the lakers beat the wolves and then the suns. kings in the conf finals.
i haven't been watching much playoff ball. no time with pcc.
speaking of pcc. tonight was the first performance. it was OFF THE HOOK! yeah there were hella flaws, but it was so much fun. i have this little monologue where i try and court my wife. and i was speaking with a pilipino accent. so i tried throwing some taglish in there, but i messed up. so all the adults in the audience laughed at me when it was supposed to be a serious scene. lol. and then there was this other part where i thought i was supposed to be on stage, but i was there a scene early. so i was chillin onstage eating lumpia and drinking soda when i wasn't supposed to be. i hella played it off though. you'll see it. i'll show you the PCC DVD! LOL! cause lori wants to see it too since she's not coming up to watch me =( her bro is though. my friend roy had a gun tucked in his pants for his scene. but the gun fell down into his pants. so he was digging through his crotch to find the gun. which was pretty funny to say the least. we were watching backstage on the monitors, and we were wondering why people in the audience were laughing. we couldn't see him digging through his pants. what else...oooh we played a regeae (i can never spell this word) version of lover's rock. basically the story revolves around 3 different families and stories with their own version of nakakahiya...or shame. so it's pretty cool, because all the different aspects are intertwined into the story. like the traditional dance and the hip hop dance. afterward, we went to this place called jeffry's where i had the monte christe sandwich. it's a ham.turkey/cheese sandwich dipped in waffle batter with powdered sugar on top. it's talagang CRAZY! i've never had anything like it before...cause it's sweet, but it doesn't seem like it should be sweet. it was pretty tasty though. a pretty funny exchange happened between chris and joe.
chris: yeah the monte christe...it's like an oral orgasm
joe: wait...what was that?
chris: the monte christe
joe: no no no....you said oral orgasm!
lol....i was weak....
i'm tired.
two steps forward. three steps back.
*sigh*
this isn't from anything in particular, but i just had this random thought in my head that people annoy me.
sometimes i think i invest too much faith in others.
shoot me in the poophole.
why do i feel like such a square?
why do i feel like such a square
stuck out of yr inner social circle
singled out and excluded because i don't fit or click in yr clique
maybe i don't posess the right qualities
or maybe i do and yr just blind to them
or i'm blind for believing i need you
can't we cancel creating these cliques
causing these condescending attitudes
excluding everyone from me to you
keeping it real but not keeping it true
when the truth is that most of us don't what real is anymore
i just wanna pause...
and take a second to say...
i think yr super
super superficial and i wish you wouldn't take it in a bad way.
okay maybe i do.
i'm just saying i haven't had the chance to check in and connect with you yet
and in the process have collected negative vibes suggesting that you don't,
while meaning "no disrespect"
want to check in and connect
disconnecting me from yr reality
you see, i don't see
what makes me so hard to get to know
and why our conversations end at hello
and while we not be playing FUTBOL!
we can't kick it
i'm tired of being on the outside peaking in on the inside joke
call me jealous cause i'm tired of being alone
and i'm sick of staring at my fucking phone waiting for no one to call
me stupid
who stupid
me stupid
for thinking i could be as cool as you guys are
stylin and profilin as you guys are
mature and refined just like each one of you
i'm stupid for wanting to be a part of you
for wanting to share myself with you
for not keeping it real
for forcing conversation
for forcing a laugh at yr dumb jokes
for forcing myself to think that yr family
but maybe i don't have to force shit
maybe that's my problem
maybe i just need to let go.
i just need to let go
and then just maybe...
that square peg can fit in the round hole
at 3:00 in the morning, i walked in from kickin it with jenelle and play practice...good times.
at 3:28 in the morning, i walked in from pcc practice...good times.
MY FRIENDS... WHERE DO YOU STAND?:
heres how i "rank" people I know... see where you stand:
1. A dude/girl i know
2. Acquaintance
3. Friend
4. Buddy
5. Best Friend/Girlfriend
6. Brother/Sister
1. A dude/girl i know: a person that ive seen before.. but never talked to...
2. Acquaintance: where most classmates stand... a person that ive known and have talked to at least once before... a conversation for more than 5 minutes hehe
3. Friend: where most people stand with me... these are people that ive known for a lil bit... and people that ive hung out with OUTSIDE school... and have had good convos with...
4. Buddy: here is where only a select few are categorized... people in this category are people that ive hung out with... and have some real good, deep convos with... a person that i can count on to be there for me when i need a person to talk to...
5. Best Friend/Girlfriend: im not saying who is in this category... but there are only a couple here... these are the people i know will back me up... i know will help me... they do everything the previously mentioned do... just with extra effort to help me out... they know i got their "back"... and i know they got mine ;-)...
6. Brother/sister: duh... i only got one of these... but i could have a sister out there somewhere haha...
ripped off of jumbo's subprofile....where do i stand with you?
"Halo"-onelinedrawing
I could go to the middle of the desert,
I could go to there all alone.
I could sit for hours,
I could fast for weeks.
I'll never know what you know.
I'll give you all the water, give everything that matters.
And when the world is full, I'll give you all the spaces. I'll give you all of the time.
You've got a halo hanging above your head.
You're as young and as old as the ocean. You smile and skies unfold.
And the wind and heaven are still and solid. You've got an unearthly glow.
I'll give you all the water, give everything that matters.
And when the world is full, I'll give you all the spaces. I'll give you all of the time.
You've got a halo hanging above your head.
thank you jenelle.
thank you for making me feel infinite.
i think that across yr lifetime, you meet certain people that you know are truly special individuals. there's something about their presence, their aura, their vibe, that just turn heads and lets people know that they are incredible. and even if you don't spend a lot of time with that person, even just a few moments with that person can have a tremendous effect on you. these are the kinds of people that i wish to be like.
her name is eden. she's a 3rd year here at ucsc. i've known her for awhile now, and i could see that she had the potential to be one of those people, but i've never seen it for myself until tonight. she was hosting the women of color open mic down at the havajava, and she just blew me away. i was in awe at her talent, her knowledge, her passion...most of all, i was in awe at her ability to inspire. she got this really shy girl to come up to the stage and just spill out her raw, uninhibited feelings. i was friends with the girl, but i have never heard her speak like that! and i knew it was because of the support and energy from eden that she was able to do so. she's one talented motherfucker too! at the end of the event she just started ripping the mic and spit a mindblowing freestyle. eden was just so displayed so much passion and promoted so much love that i left the havajava feeling fulfilled. i felt inspired. i am truly blessed and fortunate to have met her and to be able to call her a friend. she inspires me to become a better person and inspire other people. i want to be able to get people's blood pumping and just spread my love toward them. thank you eden for inspiring me and touching my life. i only hope that i can be able to pass it on and do the same to someone else.
in the flash of life yr the one that stood out
glowing mightly and going places
it's so hard to reach out and touch you
yr soul yr sweet soul serenades the silence
singing a scintilating song of love
i know you love to love
l is living how i wish i did
o is overstanding who i am
v is very very extra extra ordinary
e is easing me remarkably and leading me to
love
in the flash of life yr the one that stood out
glowing mightly and going places
it's so hard to reach out and touch you
but oh so easy to just love you
love
stankpalmer: man mason betha is the shit
stankpalmer: i wanna make him my buddy icon
monk ey bars j5: hahah
monk ey bars j5: mase w/ the bible
stankpalmer: i heard his book was good
monk ey bars j5: he has a book!?
monk ey bars j5: hahahahahaha
stankpalmer: yeah!
monk ey bars j5: man
stankpalmer: it's an expose of sorts
monk ey bars j5: if i had known
monk ey bars j5: i woulda gotten hella ppl that for xmas
stankpalmer: HAHAHAHAHA
hip hop you the love of my life...i guess
i'm disappointed in hip hop. maybe it was the wrong type of crowd. maybe everyone was pms'ing. maybe everyone came with intentions of sucking the life out of the building. who knows? my homeboy calvin threw a little jam here at uc santa cruz tonight. scheduled to start at 8, folks started showing up around 9. at its peak maybe 50-60 people were there, in this tiny ass room. now you'd think that this would be enough to spur some sort of energetic vibe so kids would be able to have some fun. but no. kids would come in and stand in the back of the room or sit down on the ground or in one of the chairs availible to them. there was no love at all. it seemed like people came out to be bored. i guess they were expecting some sort of show, a little production with hip hop as its backdrop. but hip hop is all about participation. even if they aren't onstage, the crowd is just as big a part of the event as the performer is. the performers feed off the energy that the crowd gives them. i'd hate to be an emcee spitting to cats who are sitting on their asses. no energy + no love = bad. "hip hop headz" couldn't even fucking bob their heads. what the fuck?! yeah you can graff on yr notebooks in class, or c-walk...but you can't have a little fun? why are you gonna go to a jam and just sit their stonefaced rockin yr hip hop clothes (oh and that means everyone, the bling bling heads and those urban earthtoned cats) with a little camera in yr hand. just have some fun damnit! i'm not saying that everyone should be able to bboy or spit rhymes, but at least show a little respect and try and give some sort of love to people that are sharing their gift with you. but that's fuckin santa cruz for you. and i'm probably right to say that it's other places as well. since when did hip hop become too hardcore for the dancefloor? it just pissed me off to see people sliding off their chairs like they were sliding off their couches watching another video on mtv or bet. has hip hop lost it's appeal? even if hip hop has become a specator sport, the fuckin spectators make or break the show. it was one of those nights when i wish i could bboy or freestyle or cut on the tables or drop a sick beatbox or just do something. no one wanted to participate. no one wanted to give love. they came to be entertained, but it seemed like they didn't want to. fuck. it was like this the last time ucsc had a hip hop function too. during "hip hop daze" they threw a little jam and it was the same result. kids sitting down with bored looks on their faces. and there were some talented cats onstage too. are we just lazy? maybe i'm a bit bitter. maybe i've just seen wild style or beat street to many times and just want to experience something like that. or maybe hip hop has just become to cool for me.
i'm tired. i just played basketball for 5 hours. fun times. can't wait to run with gerry's squad in the summer leagues.
my little cousin samantha reads this. hi sammy! *waves*
whenever i see jasmine on her way to safeway, i always give her a few bucks and ask her to suprise me with something. last night, she bought me frozen burritos and peanut m&m's. peanut m&m's are good. they pale in comparison to chocolate covered raisins, but they're still good. sometimes i prefer regular m&m's over peanut though. but other times, i like the peanut because you can play with em in yr mouth. usually i bite the chocolate part off first in my mouth and then chew the peanut, then i'm left with chocolatey goodness with a candy shell. or sometimes i let the shell melt in my mouth and chew the peanut last.
i think it's sad that i kept on accidently typing eminem when i was writing the above paragraph.
i'm downloading too many songs. i really like blues traveller though. anyone know anyone else that sounds like them? john popper is badass.
I know she said it's alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it's not right
There ain't no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks it's fine
Maybe she knows something I don't
I'm so, I'm so tired, I'm so tired of trying
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
'Cause no one, no not no one
Likes to be let down
I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she's gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn't want to break 'em, nah, I wouldn't want to break 'em
Maybe she'll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I'm gonna have to lie too
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
And often times we're lazy
It seems to stand in my way
'Cause no one, no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don't tell me you might just let it go
The harder that you try baby, the further you'll fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me
Please please please don't pass me by
Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down
Just like a tree down by the water baby I shall not move
Even after all the silly things you do
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me
Please please please don't drag me down
"flake" - jack johnson
-: hey dude
-: i hope its not too late but i just found out that the conference im going to tomorrow is leaving around 7:30 AM...dude..im sorry to be such a flake but i cant go to the movie tonight
-: i hope you had fun with who ever else you planned on going with
-: if not your more than welcome to do homework with me at college nine
-: or call my dorm phone 5***
-: im sorry
-: i just have to do all my homework tonight
- signed off at 9:51:19 PM.
here's some more
so me and nicole kicked it last night a little past our bedtime. we just chilled in the porter lounge just chatting away. i think i was a little crazy cause i was tired.
i forgot my backpack at the cookhouse. but jino got it and left it the fsa office. thanks jino.
i know you still think about me.
thanks so much jenelle. i read this for her tonight and she hella felt me on it. this was just one of those random ramblings that i write in class. i wrote this a while back. and i just spit it out. so there's hella spelling errors and wrong grammar. i didn't revise it or anything. and i think that the point i'm trying to make with this is that i hella contradicted myself (somewhat hypocritical also) and was really unsure on how i felt at the time. jenelle was dropping me off and we got into this long ass conversation about relationships and shit, and i had my notebook on me. i was reading this piece and i felt it when i read it tonight. so i'm just gonna share it here.
i'm kinda glad you don't like me
i'm kinda glad i'm not yr other
not yr lover
nothing more than yr "friend"
and even though i'll admit yr just as
beautiful as the day i met you
yr eyes and smile only go so far
even though we force conversation i view
you up with the constallations shine sparkling
above everything including miniscule me
and i can't stop noticing how fuckin cute you are!
it kills me to not be able to hold you
but at the same time not being able to
hold yr mind in my hand to see what makes you tick and what makes me sick
over or maybe about you
you don't realize how goregeous you are
or maybe you do and just like inspiring
guys to waste cheesy poems
saying how much they want you on you when the truth
is that you probably won't appreciate it
anyway or maybe just pass it off as "deep"
like the deep pool of yr shallowness that i'm drowning in
but I STILL CAN'T STOP STARING!
i'm kinda glad you wanted someone and overlooked me
in that quest for him
i'm kinda glad because i don't think we would've worked out
maybe we shouldn't talk anymore
because i wanna make friends and am
sick of making acquaintances
first off, everyone go watch head of state. it was a really really really really really really really really really good movie. i saw it yesterday with korin. excellent.
now playing:"soweto"-hieroglyphics feat. goapele.....goapele has a dope voice....saucy...
got back with ernie to sc yesterday, chilled at the house. went to denny's and the beach with korin and ernie. i hate going down things. cliffs, hills, whatever. scary... the beach was sick though. it was this secluded beach off the highway (not the one by the boardwalk). it was called boonie doon or something, i forgot. it took us awhile to find the beach. korin got us lost a few times ;) it's wasn't a real big beach, but not many people know about it so it's okay. since not many ppl know about it, many folks take advantage and claim it as a nude beach. i a few naked people including a naked man running with his dog. excellent. *sarcasm*
now playing: "dancing machine"-jackson five
my current schedule
female physiology
calc 11b
humanistic psychology
pilipino cultural celebration
i think i'm going to drop female physiology. as interesting as nude models and female venerial diseases are, it doesn't fulfill any GE's. i think i'm going to switch to "the film experience". karen says it's a good class.
now playing: "what you say?"-la symphony
halfway through lent.
sometimes i wonder why i bother with instant messenging. i dunno. sometimes i just don't feel like talking to anyone. i look at my buddy list and see all these cool kids online, but i just don't feel like im'ing them. weird.
now playing: "pollyanna"-onelinedrawing
shit...i got work today. i just remembered. someone visit me at the science library tonight. it'll be fun! *thumbs up*