now playing: the hum of my computer
lemmie pimp cel's site.
i finally got my light saber. now i'm gonna be a badass. woot. cost me seven bucks though, and it seems really short. it's all good though. a light saber is a light saber.
i watched amelie for the second time tonight. and it was even better the second time. i'm trying to actually apply all the film watching skills i learned in mr. trafton's film class when i'm watching movies, but often times i'm just to lazy to read into things, and i just watch the movie. there was this bicycle motif throughout the whole movie though. i don't know what that was all about.
today i went with my mom to the buttcrack of american retail. we went shopping at wal-mart. the photo service at the local wal-mart here is shitty. service is slow, clerks are pissy, and they don't have pens for you to fill out your envelopes. i don't think i've ever picked up film on time there. i swear they wait till i turn in my slip till they actually start developing it. so today i dropped off film for 1 hour. it was 4:30, and the slip they gave me told me to pick it up at 5:45. so based on previous experience with the shitty service in their photo department, i come by the counter at 6:00. they tell me that it'll be 5 more minutes. so i go dick around with the video games. you know, the ones with the busted controllers that reset every 2 minutes? well anyway i go back to the counter and the lady tells me it'll be ready in 10 more minutes. and i just stand there confused as hell. i don't get my pictures till 6:30....
buncha savages in this town...
now playing: "they-say vision" - res
it's so weird to see people on tv and realize that they're my age, or that i'm older than them. take avril lavigne for example. she's only 17 years old!
i don't know what it is. but i feel like a little kid. i see everyone on tv and i feel as if they're all older than me. i see ms. lavigne on tv and i don't even realize that she's a year younger than me. maybe it's because she's done a lot with her life and i'm still stuck on the couch eating my cheetos and sipping my vanilla coke. it's just a trip to find out that the people that i'm seeing on tv and in movies are my fucking age. growing up is weird...
now playing: "ghetto manifesto"- the coup
now playing on winamp : "sweet misery"-amel larrieux
i went out vinyl digging with dru and neal today. we went to pugz and the pee store. then we hit up downtown plaza to go look at stuff. there's this girl that works at ikon that is just....jaw droppingly goregeous....man. she's really cool too. i'm always amazed at how friendly people are once you start talking to them. or maybe it's because they're paid to be friendly....
i can't find a fucking light saber in this town. i want one for college.
my musical tastes have been jumping around recently. it's gone from commercial rap/hip hop to underground hip hop to r&b ballads...
i am one lonely motherfucker...relationship-wise. i've been hurt a few times, and i haven't always had someone there. but i think that this lonelyness has just forced me to think and dwell on my situation. it's caused me to be an "emo kid". but because i have dwelled and overanalyzed things...i feel mature. i feel that i have grown up a lot, it taught me to do a lot of thinking on my own. sometimes i feel that i'm more mature, or "grown-up" than some of my friends who have always been in relationships. sure, they may have more experience than me...but i feel as if i can think clearer. i'm not trying to ride a high horse or anything by knocking on relationships or anything, but my friend was just telling me about how through heartbreak and loss, she learned and matured so much. and it caused me to reflect on my own experiences. with the same token, i'm also lacking the experiences of always having someone there. i'm not talking about sexually (you perverted freak), but emotionally. i've never experienced love, and i'm sure some of my friends have. i don't know what that feeling is like. but i'm cool. i'm happy where i am mentally and emotionally. i think that for me, not always having someone there might have been good for me. but i think i'm ready to move on...
now playing on winamp: "everyday"-lucy pearl
i don't know what it is, but i always have this fear of recording songs. when i play songs in front of people, it's not a problem. but when i'm trying to record and tape it, i freak out and get hella self-concious. weird...
i'm counting the days down until i finally leave for the wonderful banana slug world of the university of california, santa cruz. and it seems like just yesterday i was building lego shit in mrs. green's kindergarten class at oak hill elementary (AM kinders....BEEYATCH!). we would always play ninja turtles at recess. brian and i would both be leonardo, and tony would be splinter. and yes, we kicked ass. i haven't really kept in touch with those guys. i do know that brian is going to sac state in the fall. he's pretty damn smart too. i think he got a 1400+ on his sats. anthony (as he calls himself now) is in some sort of band. he's the one who remembers me, brian totally forgot who i was. it's all good though. the weird thing about seeing folks that i went to school with before jesuit, is that the people i didn't really hang out with remember me. but the ones i had classes and hung out with, don't remember me at all. i wonder if that's how it's going to be in a couple years when i run into guys from high school. "oh yeah...you're uh....that guy".
no one wants to be remembered as just another somebody.
"...carpe...diem...seize the day boys...make your lives extraordinary..." - dead poets society
i swear...my mom makes some pretty kickass sandwhiches...
so i was watching "dog eat dog" today...and this guy was forced to strip, and he only had his pants and underwear on. so he RIPPED his underwear and took it out from under his pants. sorta like in zoolander. crazy shit.
i saw a sticker today that said "god is my dj"
cable companies are the worst. not only do they put you on hold for an hour, they leave you with CRAPPY music too. i called up winfirst to ask why i wasn't getting my filipino channel. i have to have my TFC. anyway, i got stuck on hold for 30 min listening to some smooth jazz crap...
WHAT IS IT WITH PROFESSIONALS AND SMOOTH JAZZ?!?!?!?!?
i really don't understand it. everytime i fucking go to the doctor's office, or the dentist, they're always listening to smooth jazz. is it supposed to suggest that you're hip? or smoooooooooooooooooooooooth? they always play that stuff at model homes too. i dunno what the deal is...
WHY DOES IT SOUND LIKE EVERY SMOOTH JAZZ DJ SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE HAVING A FUCKING ORGASM?!?!
"welcome back to 94.7, sacramento's smoooooooooooooooooooooooooooth (oh yeah baby) jazz". they always have to put an emphasis on the word smooth, as if they're trying to seduce you. "yeah our music sucks, but maybe if we turn you on, you'll stick around in hopes of hearing some sucking going on...."
i don't think god would spin smooth jazz.
"lamer than lame" - nerf herder
LAMER THAN LAME
How do I get through to a girl like you
Workin' at the pretzel station at the mall
Beautiful lips like Strawberry Quick
I saw your boyfriend he looks like a dick
You won't check me out
'Cause I work in the back at the Radio Shack
I won't be surprised if you don't call me tonight
'Cause I'm lamer than lame
Uncool in every single way
But your boyfriend makes you wanna cry
Don't you think its time you tried a different kind of guy
How can even make you understand
When I'm wearing the pants with the elastic waistband oh no
Saw you on the bus laughing with your pretty friends
I was in back with the retarded kids
Tried to say hello at the high school dance
Then I wet my pants
I won't be surprised if you don't call me tonight
'Cause I'm lamer than lame
Uncool in every single way
But your boyfriend makes you wanna cry
Don't you think its time you tried a different kind of guy
We could be happy
I could be the one you're looking for
I could get a haircut and I'd give up the video games
No need to explain why you didn't know my name
'Cause I'm lamer than lame
Uncool in every single way
But your boyfriend makes me wanna cry
Don't you think its time you tried a different kind of guy
Lamer
Lamer
i've been getting back to my roots recently...i've been listening to radio hip hop. i know a lot of cats dis radio hip hop, saying that it's not real hip hop. but i like to think of it more as a hip hop starter kit. i mean, when i first got into music, i wasn't listening to krs-one, or a tribe called quest...but instead, cats like snow, vanilla ice, or naughty by nature. shoot...i even owned a pair of parachute pants. but as i listened more to hip hop, i discovered that there is a lot of good stuff out there. but i wouldn't have discovered that stuff if i wasn't introduced to it in the first place. the underground, concious hip hop is cool to listen to, but you can't really groove to it. and in the words of juvenille, sometimes you just gotta "shake yo ass!"
ah...i miss the st. lawrence kids. too bad i didn't get to see katy. she gets picked up too early...poop.
i dunno, maybe it's just me, but i'm noticing college everywhere i look. i've been watching movies about kids in college. when i go to stores, i always see "back to dorm" sales or "back to campus" sales. i haven't really seen "back to school" sales like i did before. it's weird how this is. maybe i really am ready to leave. it's my subconcious telling me that i need to move on with my life.
i've been really tired and a bit stressed out recently. it's all this stuff with passing my insurance exam and filling out college stuff for santa cruz. well at least i'm going to go visit my st. lawrence kids tommorow, and all will be good.
wow...last night was so awesome. i went out with my friends to dinner at the macaroni grill where we were served by joe. haha i think we kinda pissed him off but oh well. we sang happy birthday to marcela, and she got a free dessert out of it. then some of us went to go play pool. everyone left then it was just me and marcela. and we just chilled for a couple hours just talking. i felt like i hella connected with her last night. she was one of those friends who i didn't really talk to much, but was cool with. anyway, afterward i went to mark's house to work on the potato launcher. no blowups this time. well we finished the 2nd one, we just haven't gone out to shoot it.
i'm really bored right now.
it was angel's birthday tonight. i had a good time. i even got a song written tonight. the only downer was when i wanted to sing a song to all my friends. a lot of my friends were at this party, and i wanted to sing something special for them. but i guess they were too busy to stop and listen. either that or they didn't care...hah. but the song was about how you shouldn't take the little things for granted. that every moment you spend with your friends means a lot. and how, with your friends, you could pretty much acomplish anything.
"aeroplanes"-jonah's one line drawing
I remember the time with you on the station
We were dancing on tile
it was cold, I was barefoot
It was her TV show, it was our celebration
It's criminal to let these things go by
There was light coming in, like windows on aeroplanes
It was church afternoon, we were ready for something
We are morning for good, we are laughing at evening
Slowing down
It's criminal to let these things go by
My friends will all be famous
This world cannot contain us
We'll be first time going out
and going out again
What a relief! We're all okay.
it was a reunion of sorts at the fair last night. i ran into a whole bunch of people that i knew, and it was cool seeing them again. when you think about it, it's weird how many people you actually know.
my mom is throwing a baby shower today for one of her coworkers. it's weird seeing different people in my house. lol.
so it's funny how friendships change over the years. one guy who i considered my best friend is leaving for college tommorow, all the way in illinois, and we bearly talk anymore. it's weird though, nothing happened between us, we just grew apart. and i somewhat fear that the same will happen to the rest of my friends. i think it's finally starting to hit me that i'm not going to see people for a while. us UC kids don't start to leave till september, but a lot of my friends going elsewhere are already heading off. since jesuit was a college prep school, most of the kids are going away for college, myself included. hanging out with the boys tonight only brought the whole separation deal to my attention. a couple months from now, i'm not going to be able to hook up with friends to make potato launchers (which is what we did tonight....shit be crazy) or anything. i really want to make the most of my time left with them. even after we leave, i'm glad that my close group of friends have something to keep our friendship alive. SHELLLLLLLLLLLLAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
it's strange though, i'm stuck in this weird position where i want to get away, but i'm not at all ready to let go. i want to go out and make new friends, but i want to hang out with my old ones. i want to sleep in a dorm room but wake up in my bedroom. i say that i'm tired of this place, when i could stay here forever. but i guess that's just growing up right? being able to let go and move on.
the more i want change, the more i want things to stay the same.
secret agent dre: i'd say i'll miss you...
secret agent dre: but you'll always be there
secret agent dre: :-)
if you would only listen, you might just realize what you're missin, you're missin me
pulled from drea's blog:
we stayed in glendale for lunch, and on the car ride home, even though i was deathly fatigued, i didn't want to go to sleep. i just kept looking out the window the entire trip, absorbing every detail that i could see, trying to burn images of L.A. deep into my brain...each city skyline, the curve of each hill, the shape of each row of palm trees, the lists of street exits on each freeway. i wanted to memorize the names of every street we passed. i wanted to memorize the color sequence of the houses i came across as my dad turned from street to street. but of course i know i can't.
in just a few more days, i won't see these things for a long while. along with my friends and my FAMILY. yikes. people keep telling me that once i get in the groove of college life, things won't be so bad, and they're right. consequently, that means that i'm going to have to pull myself out of the routine i've been part of for the last eighteen years. and THAT is what gets to me.
it just occured to me that i don't really post too much in the daytime on this blog. weird.
jon's top 5 places in spokane
spokane isn't too bad of a town when you hit up the right places.
#5. dick's burgers
this place has really good, cheap burgers. it's almost like the in and out of washington, but a whole lot cheaper. it's set as a drive in type burger joint. fun times.
#4. boo radley's
this is just a random collection of oddball stuff. it has vintage toys, tshirts, gag gifts, lunchboxes. a whole bunch of different...junk. but it's the kind of junk that you WANT to have.
#3. hasting's
this store has everything you could possibly ask for. movie rentals, cd's, books, dirty magazines, games, candy... this place has it all. it seems to be the place where everyone meets up in spokane too. whenever i go there with dodds he always sees someone that he knows.
#2. 2nd look books
this place has this really cool room called "the source", which is just this huge collection of old and vintage books, not to mention a few first editions. dodds and i spent a long time in that room looking at shit. we found this one magazine called "men's life" from the 50's which was pretty much like a retro maxim. it even had the ladies in swimsuits inside.
#1. the garland theater
this place is just awesome. from the old retro sign to the stylish one screen theater, this place exemplifies what classic movie theaters are supposed to be like. every friday and saturday during the summer they show retro films like the shining and GOONIES!
i luh you.
tonight i hung out with my cousin and his friends. hanging out in big groups of people here sorta make me wanna do it at home. i just love trading stories with other people. the problem is that i'm so forgetful that i forget a lot of good ones. so we just chilled in dodds' basement talking about stuff. afterwards we went to denny's to hang out and eat breakfast. the server's name was nick, and we were dicking around with him by saying that we were from new york on our way to montana. for you geography majors, spokane washington is not on the way to montana from new york. so we were fucking with him and i'm pretty sure that he was playing along too. either that or jizzing in our ranch dressing. when we got home dodds and i just chilled outside looking at the stars and watching out for falling ones. it was one of those times when i wish i had a girl...lol. i mean it was cool talking with my cuz, but i think it would've been really awesome to share with someone special.
i just came back from a kickass time at the local spokanian movie theater. they had a midnight showing of the classic movie, goonies! i've never really been to anything like this before. people came just to have a good time. it was cool going to a theater where people weren't so pissy. it was encouraged to say dialogue and dick around. me and my friends started doing a "tony danza" chant for no reason. and the whole crowd would erupt into laughter whenever that rudy kid would talk about "one eyed willie". the theater was aparently the only locally owned theater in spokane. there was an old retro sign in the front and it was a one screen theater. good times.
snatched was a fun experience for me. the three of us weren't really serious about it, it was just a way to get together and have a good time doing what we love doing. the practices would be us goofing off most of the time. playing tony hawk, or sticking drumsticks up our noses. steve and justin have to find a replacement bassist to fill my spot when i leave.
"better than nothing"
if i close my eyes
will i open them to everyone
that makes me who i am?
(wipe the sleep away.)
can i fall
and expect to be caught
by those who fell before me?
(fall like the leaves.)
will my smile
have company today?
or will it rot, lonely, dying in the corner?
(smile like it hurts.)
all i want is love.
all i want is freedom.
anything less isn't good enough.
(am i good enough?)
if not i'll pretend i am.
(just nod and smile.)
nod and smile
nod and smil
nod and smi
nod and sm
nod and s
nod and
nod an
nod a
nod
no
n
......................
it always amazes me how people are sometimes different than the exterior that they present. often times, the interior is for the better. if only we lived in a world where people could feel comfortable with who they are and share their true selves with the world. i know this girl. on the outside she looks thuggish ruggish, "ghetto" if you will. she acts hella cocky, fronts like she's hardcore and shit. but deep down inside, she's a really sweet girl. she's poetic, she's inspirational, but she plays it off so she saves face. bah. fuck phonies. fuck masks.
basketball at 9:00 pm in the cold....crazy spokanians.
my cousin and his friends were reminicing on their elementary-high school days. it got me thinking if i'd ever do that with the boys back home. what would we talk about? what stories would we share? i think that if i had to do it again, i'd do more than what i did before. but i'm happy with my high school experience. it's a shame all the good stuff happened at the end.
last night my cuz picked me up from the airport and we went to a casino. he didn't really know where it was so it took us an hour and a half to get us to a place that was 3 miles away. we left after half an hour and i lost 7 bucks. today we kicked it at paolo's house. we went to the mall and this video game store. i bought 5 nes games. hopefully it's something that me and my roomates can enjoy in college. speaking of college, me and dodds (my cuz) are watching the entire season of undeclared on my computer. i downloaded all 17 episodes. too bad that show got cancelled. fuckin fox...
my friend drea went to her first jonah show tonight. she had a kickass time.
i guess my dream is to be able to hold an entire room breathless like he can. to be able to touch everyone in a room is just awesome. it's like what russell simmons says at the end of every def poetry slam show, "good night, i hope you were inspired". i guess that's why i write in this damn blog. hopefully it will inspire.
i'm in spokane.
arcades suck nowadays. they're so dead. i remember back in the day when the arcade was the ultimate social atmosphere. people used to master games and then show off at the arcades. i remember the old street fighter 2 legends that could hadooken your ass out of the arcade. i'm not talking about every damn comic book character in the world vs. team ryu and company with super duper extra finishers, i'm talking about the original classic street fighter 2. i remember when people would all gather around one machine just to see people play. now the arcade is like the place that people go to be alone. strangers don't challenge each other and duke it out like before. i remember when games were only a quarter. it's saddening. at least there's one game that brought the love back to the arcades, and that game is dance dance revolution. a lot of people, like me, will knock it (mostly because we suck at it) and call it lame, but that game has done wonders for arcades. this game draws crowds like the old street fighter games used to. people will come out and master it to show off at the arcades. this is how arcades should be. I CAN'T BELIEVE ARCADE GAMES ARE A FUCKING DOLLAR!
i hung out with lei and her fam today. the self proclaimed "tightest girl in the universe" is a really cool cat that i grew up with but then lost contact with. we only started to keep in touch recently.
my voice sucks. i tried recording with leejay in his mom's bathroom the other day. my voice was cracking like i was a 12 year old boy going through puberty. we're gonna try to record again though.
*sigh*
i had a good conversation with asianwhitney, and got a lot of things cleared up. fun times.
well i hung out with that girl and saw that other girl today. what a combo. i was really dead the whole day. i dunno why.
i didn't mean to, but i think i acted like a jackass toward that other girl. i didn't even really say hi. but to be honest, i really didn't know what to say. i talked to her the other night and some things got in to the open, but it still feels like it's unresolved. i wasn't mad when i saw her, but saddened. i really just wanted to go up to her and say hi, just hang out with her, maybe help her fold clothes...lol. i just wanted to be with her. i wanted to be in her company. have you ever had that feeling, where you wanna do something so bad, but you can't because it wouldn't be or feel right? it would've just be too weird. too awkward. too depressing. so i did what i do best. i did nothing.
i really don't know how i'm feeling right now...
(moving on to an unrelated subject.....)
yeah i was talking about you, i was a bit miffed at the time so it sounds a bit angrier than it really is. ionno. you're extremely intelligent and talented and there's no problem with being either. you know how to handle responsiblity, and often you're chill to be around. it's just sometimes you get a bit condescending and out of control. sometimes you say shit that's pretty fucked up. i don't really mind taking shit from you cause i know i can take it, but when it's directed toward my friends (e.g. ryan) it pisses me off. i don't wanna come off sounding high and mighty like i'm perfect and can point out other people's flaws and such, because i know i have my own flaws and annoying idiosyncracies. but just because i know about them doesn't make it okay to continue doing them. i'm always working to make myself better, but often times i slip. and if i did anything to you, then i apologize. i probably should have said this to you in person, but i'm not a big fan of the conflict.